It’s certainly not as described

I saw a horse go up for sale

It’s certainly not as it’s described

I wonder why they’ve written it like that?

It’s not as advertised 


I know the horse in person

And although he is quite cute 

The way that they have written his ad

It truly does not suit.


So many people seem to get a horse 

And it’s not acting like they thought 

Oh why can’t people just tell the truth

It’s truly not what they bought. 


And so it begins the merry go round

Of poorly matched horse and rider 

Another horse back on the market 

With problems that define her


In the horse world there really are

A bunch of fibs being told

Just so that the current owner 

Can list the horse as sold 


So many times my job becomes 

Visiting a rider and their new mount

It had been sold to them as bombproof 

But it bucked and danced about 


I am more than happy to assist 

Any willing horse and rider 

But so many of these matches 

Don’t build confidence inside her 


The horse may be truly lovely

And should it receive some training 

Could easily suit the current owner 

Without the need for complaining 


The problems it has may be simply fixed 

You just need a helping hand

That way you can keep the horse 

And look, now it will stand! 


When you’re searching for a unicorn 

Don’t forget to shop around 

Don’t buy the first horse that you see 

There are plenty to be found 


Make a list of what’s important 

The qualities that are a must

You don’t want to end up falling,

Crying, sitting in the dust. 


Everyone has a budget 

They have to stick right to

But I promise if you save up longer 

There are better matches for you. 


Be honest with yourself 

Why did your current horse not suit? 

Is it that you’re overmatched

Or did he give you a boot? 


Do you think that by selling 

Your current mount with issues 

That you can buy another

And never need the tissues?


Sometimes horses make us cry 

But they also make us stronger 

Maybe you should investigate 

And keep him a little longer 


Find out what it is that makes him buck

Or push you to the ground 

Work out why he’s rearing

Is he untrained or is he unsound? 


Are you lacking in your knowledge 

Do you know how to keep a horse? 

Maybe instead of moving her on

You should go and take a course! 


Once you’ve exhausted all the options 

And really decide it’s time to sell

Make sure that you portray him accurately

So you don’t suck someone in as well 


I get that the market is so tough 

You can blame the drought 

But you can still be honest in your ad

So your integrity won’t raise a doubt 


Don’t be tempted to spout rubbish 

Or lay false claims to him

Just so that you can make a sale 

To an unsuspecting victim 


The horse world is truly connected 

You’ll make yourself a name

And when you cannot sell another 

It’s yourself that is to blame


So many problems can be solved 

By waiting longer to buy your own

You may save a little more money

When patience has been shown


To buy a horse with training 

Will cost a whole lot more 

But surely that’s better than hurrying 

At least you can be sure!


If you rush in to buy a horse

While your budget is so low 

The choices are far more limited 

Trust me, I would know. 


The more you arm yourself with info

The more choices you have, you see 

It’s your knowledge that defines you 

And your capabilities.


The better you learn your groundwork 

The more hours that you ride

The selection of horses that you sit on

The more confidence it will provide 


If you go to buy a horse

But have only ridden a few 

It may seem a whole lot different 

So foreign and so new 


I remember back in my early years

I rode one of the police greys

It didn’t steer like my horse at home 

I couldn’t make him obey 


He cut the corners of the ring

And dropped his inside shoulder

If I’d ridden a lot more horses before the interview 

I’m sure I could have been bolder 


But instead of being sad I missed the job

Of Mounted Support Hand Rider 

I was excited that I learnt a lot 

And went home a little brighter. 


It wasn’t that the horse was wrong

Or even that I was no good 

It simply meant I hadn’t yet learnt 

To ride the way I should!


What I learnt that memorable day

Was that horses are not all alike 

They all respond to different cues

They’re nothing like a bike!


I realised then I wanted to learn

to ride differently from one to another

Because my horse riding skills

Were definitely not from my mother 


So then I tried to ride

As many horses as I could

To learn from each and every one of them

Something different, something good


So even though you can ride well,

Have you ridden just inside the school? 

To go and buy one off gumtree 

Will it be the exception to the rule? 


You may have desires of grandeur 

A dream that you will find 

A horse that ticks all the boxes 

The unicorn as described.


But from home to home you’ll truly see

Some horses are a mess

Are they the perfectly behaved gentleman?

Has the owner something to confess?


Maybe you’ll be lucky

And find some decent peeps

And in this current market 

Their good horse is probably cheap! 


They may truly love him 

Their daughter just outgrown 

The genuine reason for sale

He just needs a brand new home


Take someone with you with knowledge 

Don’t be in a rush to buy 

Make yourself a list of questions 

And see how they reply 


You need to know first hand 

Why the horse is up for sale 

Have they had him very long?

When you ask, do they turn pale? 


Ask them to show you through the paces

On the lunge then on their back

If they won’t ride the horse themselves 

Maybe it’s courage that they lack.


No matter what, don’t get on

Unless they ride him first

Because if you do and then you fall

Your bubble it will burst! 


In every moment play it safe

On your life it could depend 

But sometimes you’ll get lucky

And find your lifelong friend!


Not every single seller 

Sets out to deceive a buyer

But the more horses you take a look at

The odds they will be higher


Ask around your local pony club

Does anyone know this horse?

His reputation may proceed him

And you’ll find out lots of course. 


Stalk the local Facebook pages

Is there info you can find?

Do a name search for the owners

Have they anything to hide? 


And once you’ve decided you’ve found the one

Who will truly make you smile 

Step back for just a moment

Take a minute, take a while. 


Weigh up all your options 

Have you truly found the one?

Then call yourself a reputable vet

And get a vet check done. 


But most of all you need to ask yourself 

Are you ready to commit?

Because if you’re not truly honest 

You may end up in deep 💩!


So sellers you can make a start

By being truthful in your words

Because if you don’t, you’ll come unstuck

You can be sure someone has heard.


Buyers need to think thoroughly first

With your head before your heart

Make sure that you’re certain 

Before with your money you part! 


Don’t become part of this merry go round

Of unsuitable horses sold

Simply because you were in a rush to buy

Before you were too old!